Elections are generally annoying, whether they be Indian, American, French, even elections for ridiculous posts in college student bodies are annoying. But this year the Indian election has been horrible, its been more excruciating than hearing Arun Lal talk during the IPL, it has been more painful than supporting a team with Adebayor and Abou Diaby playing for it, in fact sitting in Coorg suffering from acute water shortage,every morning I woke up I don't know what I was dreading more, the possible absence of water to conduct one's usual business or opening the paper only to find it filled with more hate mongering has beens and shoe throwing screwballs. But there were some reasons which super ceded all others:
1. The Conscientious citizens of India discovered their voice (and I found that I hate it)
I am sick and tired of all those do gooders high on tea leaves telling me to go and vote, constantly reminding me that the state of Karnataka failed to recognize my existence, and that given that I don't stay in my home town for than a few months every year, I might never get a chance to vote in the near future, which means that I will never be able to join the cool club( didn't you hear that voting is the in thing now). But I am more annoyed cause none of these do gooders actually targeted the right issue - why is it so god damned hard to get a voters id in this country?
And one more thing, is it just me or is there too much of Aamir Khan on TV. I am so confused when i see him, I dont know if I should vote, get a Tata sky or drink coke (given that I have Dish TV, just drank Pepsi and didn't vote, I have struck out on all counts I guess).
2. Will the real Minority please stand up?
Everybody seems to be queuing up for the minority vote. But who are these minorities, I seriously don't know, every time the BJP dude says 'we are doing the most for the minorities', i get the urge to ask the question "and that would be ?". And if they are the ones deciding the fate of the election, shouldn't they be called the majority?
3. Tujh mein Advani dikhta hai, oh God mein kya karoon?
It's really annoying having to see Mr. Advani's face everywhere I turn, I mean the TV was bad enough, but on every internet page ( I log on to an arsenal fan page only to see Mr. Advani's ad, I wondered if Advani supports Arsenal, then maybe I should turn pro-BJP)`, spamming my phone, thats too much. I swear I will kill the marketing professional who taught political parties 360 degree marketing.
4. A Friend in Need...might want a Cabinet post
It's really annoying to find absolutely no single party capable of running my country (a bit scary also). I used to hate the Congress cause they have the tendency to sleep with anyone to get into power but then I realised, that when it comes to political prostitution, the BJP are the founding fathers. The only difference between the two, is that if the Congress is like the Red light district hooker, then BJP is the high class escort, they have better clients. But still neither of them gives me any confidence. And every year the parties get more and more splintered, and that leads to more and more whore mongering,which essentially means that all the so called fronts that have come up have basically screwed our democratic system from behind.
5. The IPL go Bye Bye..
I was seriously pissed that the IPL went abroad because of the elections. It would have been so much fun to watch John Buchanan and SRK deal with the Kolkata crowd after having dropped Sourav as captain, but no that didn't happen, and its all because of the elections. Damn You!! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL..
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